Could Mulan hack it as a tech??

I'll admit it: I love Disney movies. I'm 35 years old and I know all the words to the songs from Frozen. Singing along with simple, catchy tunes makes my day better regardless of what's going on and Disney songs are about as catchy as they get. Don't get me wrong...I love rock and alternative music, but you just don't get that same feel-good vibe singing along to Back in Black. (At least I don't.)

As you may have noticed, I also love surgery! I take every opportunity to talk to people about my job. When people ask what I do for a living, I tell them " I work in surgery!" It sounds super fancy and since everyone just assumes the only people "working in surgery" are surgeons, you get to correct them and fill them in on the wonder and magic that is surgical technology.

I find that putting these two things together is way easier than you'd think. Disney songs lend themselves to parody, so I jumped on the bandwagon and wrote a few Disney Surg Tech songs. You'll see them on and off over the next few months. This month's installment is "I'll make a man out of you" from Mulan. I love this song and the seriousness of it reminds me of the pressure I felt when I first entered an operating room. So without further ado... Here it is!

Let’s get down to business to do surgery:

Ortho, plastics, general or urology

At some point you’ll have to scrub them all

So wake up and get a clue

Rookie, I’ll make a tech out of you

Remove that gallbladder

Grab trocars and scope

Throw your cords up quickly

Surgeon’s at your throat

Because you forgot to white-balance

Now he’s got a shitty view

Rookie, I’ll make a tech out of you.

You’re never gonna catch your breath-gotta load that stitch one-handed

Plus you’ve gotta cut and tag at the same time.

Keep holding that retractor too or you will be reprimanded

Who knew letting up one second was a crime?

Be a tech!

Hold your scope still as a marble statue

Be a tech!

Pass all your instruments fast and smooth

Be a tech!

Count all your sponges and sharps like crazy

Cause if you mess up, the patient’s gonna sue!

Time is dragging slowly, til shift end arrives

Keep the surgeon moving and you might survive

You’re not leaving til the case is done

You’re oncall, so you are screwed

Rookie, I’ll make a tech out of you.

Be a tech!

Suction like mad to get great exposure

Be a tech!

Keep that blood out of the field of view

Be a tech!

And don’t you ever lose your composure

Cause if you mess up, the patient’s gonna sue!

Be a tech!

Do your time-out, fix your lights, get ready

Be a tech!

Now you’re a part of the elite few

Be a tech!

Always stay sterile, stand proud and steady

Remember that you’re a surg tech through and through!