The Pre-requisite Gauntlet

The catalog technically said that Surgical Technology was a 2-year program. Since I had enough credits to have a freaking Masters degree from music school, design school, and business school combined, I got to pass GO, collect $200, and skip the first semester and a half of classes. Not that I didn’t want to take English 101 again, but that crap gets expensive! I started my tech school journey with the crash courses of Medical Terminology and Anatomy & Physiology. I was in way over my head from the start.

A&P: What can I say about A&P? You’d think being a human; I would know a thing or two about the sac of meat within which I reside. NOPE. I didn’t know my sternocleidomastoid from my ethmoid. I memorized anatomy by making up rhymes and little songs. Basically, my songs were the most warped versions of “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” you’d ever heard. I’d walk up to my boyfriend (now husband) at random, point to a bone, name it, and walk away. He must have thought I was a lunatic. (But he married me anyway so HA!) The class was online, but the midterm and final were at school so fudging my way through by using the book. I remember sitting in the test staring at a fill-in-the blank skeleton and wanting to cry, but I passed.

Medical Terminology was a whole different issue. The only way I passed that class was through sheer force of will…and flash cards…hundreds and hundreds of flashcards. I kept them in my purse and went over them in every spare second I had. Waiting for an oil change? Flashcards! Injury timeout during the Vikings game? Flashcards! Standing in line for the restroom? Flashcards! I kid you not. Those goddamn things went everywhere. In fact, my final exam was on a Friday in December, the morning after The Hobbit movie released.

The boyfriend and I had bought tickets for the Thursday midnight showing at IMAX long before I’d signed up for classes and BY GOD I WAS GOING! We got to the IMAX theater early to sit on line and (of course) I had my flashcards handy. There we were, sitting on a lobby floor at 11:30 at night surrounded by people dressed as elves, orcs, and wizards and somehow I, with my Twizzlers and mountainous pile of flashcards, was the weirdo. *Sigh* The next morning, I dragged my tired butt to school, took the exam. I got an A. I then went home and immediately destroyed every last flashcard. Instant gratification.

After Medical Terminology and A&P, I thought to myself, “Well, at least the hard part is over.” (Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!) Little did I know, the real trials were yet to come.