Nope. Still not a nurse
For those of you who didn’t know, May 6th through May 12th is National Nurses’ Week. Congrats to all of the amazing nurses out there! I love nurses (and not just because I am eternally indebted to them for not being Grouchy McCrabbypants when I am being a Needy McWhinerton during surgical cases). Nurses are a different breed of people. They are able to handle of the needs and wants of (usually) way too many patients while simultaneously dealing with endless charting, difficult family members, and an unfulfilled need for food and a pee break. If that doesn’t qualify as someone for at least minor sainthood, I don’t know what does.
All of this aside, I need to clarify something to the world:
I AM NOT A NURSE.
Apparently, (according to non-medical humans) if you work in a hospital you MUST be a nurse. The second people find out that I work at a hospital, the first thing they ask is, “Oh, are you a nurse?” OMG NO! I would love just once for someone to ask:
“Oh, are you a doctor?”
“Oh, are you a radiologist?”
“Oh, do you clean bedpans?”
Wait… I think that last one might actually put me in nursing territory. (Just kidding nurses. Don’t get your stylish, well-fitting, non-hospital issued scrubs in a bunch.) I’m not sure what makes people default to nursing when faced with someone in a medical profession, but it’s infuriating.
I am so, so proud to be a surgical tech. I firmly believe the work we do is on par with our nursing colleagues. (Feel free to start running now before the nurses union gets here to beat me to death with blood pressure cuffs full of nickels.) Granted, some of our duties overlap. We can both assemble a gazillion-piece Demayo hip positioner around a 375-pound patient without letting said patient roll off the insanely narrow bed. Some of our duties are our own: I’d LOVE to see my circulating nurse try to keep 6 different cords from turning into a giant spaghetti tangle during a messy LAVH and I’m sure they’d love to watch me try and figure out how to insert a foley on a patient with a micropenis. (Yes, it’s a real thing. Look it up.) Either way, both professions are vital to the health of patients everywhere.
So why is it that surgical technology is so far off the radar of the unscrubbed masses? Is it because we work behind the mysterious veil of the OR where the public is admitted only after being dosed with enough benzodiazepine to forget the entire experience? Is it because the nurses unions have stealthily usurped our presence in the medical community? I mean… We don’t even get to celebrate National Surgical Technologist Week without having to share it with Nurses in Professional Development Week. Stop horning in on our week dammit! Are we simply outnumbered? In 2014, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics recorded 98,450 surgical technologists in contrast to 3,449,900 registered and licensed nurses. (http://www.bls.gov/oes) That means that there are approximately 35 nurses to every single surgical technologist! YIKES! Or maybe it’s because we are too busy being OR rock stars for our patients to deal with little things like lobbying for better pay and recognition, creating visibility for our profession outside the OR, or pushing for realistic career advancement options. Pfff. Money and recognition? Who needs it?
What oh what is a definitely-not-a-nurse-but-a-surgical-technologist to do? Well first off, remember that even though our pay and representation is maybe not as spectacular, we are just as valuable as our nursing brethren. Second, keep in mind that nurses, surg techs, physician’s assistants, surgeons… all of us are in this together. We need to respect and support everyone’s contributions to the team and work to create the best possible patient experience every day. Lastly, tell everyone you meet about the world of surgical technology. Tell your friends. Tell your mailman. Tell that creepy guy that leers at you when pick up your coffee every morning (okay, maybe not him…). Proclaim to the universe. “I am a not a nurse! I’m a surgical tech! REVEL IN MY EXTREME AWESOMENESS!” Because you are awesome gosh dang it! Screw one measly week; let’s make every day Surgical Technologist Day!
Until next time, stay sterile!
