It's a small world after all

Picture this, if you will…

Friday night: I’m out on the town for a belated birthday celebration with my girlfriend, Erin at a trendy bar in Uptown. Our big blue (very potent) drinks, garnished with dry ice, bubble madly and a blue plastic giraffe perches precariously on the edge of the glass. The total effect looks like a giraffe standing in the mist coming off a glowing blue ocean, which is odd considering that giraffes don’t live in the ocean, but at this point we are too silly to care. The relaxing effects of the booze convince us to continue our celebration elsewhere and bar hop for a while.

We end up at a bar surrounded by stereotypical hot chicks and enough lumbersexuals to sell out the flannel department of an LL Bean catalog in under an hour. One lumberjack, complete with flannel shirt, huge beard, and stocking cap parked down on the stool beside me and started a conversation.

Important side note: I have this insane X-Men mutant power that causes people to blurt out their life stories to me within 5 minutes of meeting them. As someone that prefers to steer clear of…well…people in general, this is the most useless power ever.

So Paul Bunyon and I were knee-deep in conversation when the inevitable question came: “What do you do for a living?” I was a few drinks into the evening, so I gave him the abridged explanation. “That’s so cool!” he gushed. “I just had my ACL repaired last year.”

Here is the point where I should have said, “That’s great! So what do you do for work?” Instead, I made a huge mistake and asked what any nosy surgical tech would have.

“Where did you have it done?”

“Clemency Hospital”

Ugh… Here’s the thing. My friend, Beth works at Clemency. She also does Ortho. She also texts me on a semi-regular basis to vent about one particular doctor, Dr. Cullen, who is a total ass-bag. He likes to throw things, yell, and personally attack people he works with. He’s in major need of a trip to Surgeon Charm School. I’ve never been to Clemency Hospital. I don’t know the name of any other surgeon in the entire hospital, so I don’t know why I felt it necessary to ask the next question.

“It wasn’t Dr. Cullen was it?”

Paul Bunyon set down his oatmeal stout and stared at me like I’d grown a third eye. “Yes it was and how did you know that?”

Shit.

I made some flimsy excuse about knowing someone who works with him, which seemed to make him relax. Then I was subjected to a 5-minute speech about how great Dr. Cullen was. Soooo kind and compassionate! BEST SURGEON EVER! It took so much effort not to laugh that my abdomen started to hurt. I have no doubt that Dr. Cullen is probably great at what he does, but hearing someone expound upon his many virtues when you know how badly he treats those around him was just too much.

The entire time, I could feel my cell phone burning a hole in my pocket. I couldn’t wait to text Beth and get her reaction. Eventually, Paul Bunyon took off and I texted Beth about Dr. Cullen’s burgeoning fan club. We got a good laugh out of it and then she went back to sleep and I went back to sobering up before bar close.

I was reminded of some important lessons that night. First off, even if you live in a large city, the world is a whole lot smaller than you think it is. Surgical techs are privy to lots of sensitive information and spilling any of it can ruin your career. Your patients and your employer trust you to use discretion when it comes to accessing and using patient information. Don’t abuse that trust. As a blogger, I am extremely careful to read and reread all of my posts to make sure I don’t disclose anything inappropriate so I know how important this is.

Second, everyone has different perceptions of people. You might hate a certain surgeon. He or she might be a total jerk to you, but they may have been the difference between living and dying to someone else. It’s not our place to ruin the respect that a patient has for a medical professional. It’s okay to vent. It’s actually kind of important to vent (or you might explode from stress later on), but do it at a place and time that’s appropriate. I’ve found that “on the couch with a friend and a pile of desserts” is my preferred method of venting. You should totally try it!

Overall, being a surgical tech is a super cool job. I encourage people to tell the world about what you do and how you do it because the world needs to know! Just remember to stop and think before you get into details since they can have big, big repercussions for you, patients, and other medical professionals. And that rule goes double if there are bubbling, blue alcoholic giraffe drinks involved!

Until next time, stay sterile.